Tommy Mitchell / The Rurban Church Blog

A Few Things Country Folks Just Know!

Country folks just know some stuff that other folks have to learn the hard way!

1. Don't follow a cattle truck or trailer too closely!  (if you have to ask why - then you really need to take my advice seriously!)

2. Don't kick a sleeping dog!

3. In the country, a "Beware of the Dog" sign means - BEWARE OF THE DOG!!!!!

4. You don't mess with somebody's 4-wheeler!

5. It is better to be tried by 12 than carried out by 6!  (this has a lot of applications!)

6. Country drivers are in training for NASCAR!

7. It really isn't a big deal to check your oil!

Baptist Church Information Quiz! UPDATED WITH ANSWERS

Here are a few standard questions related to church!   Well, people apparently don't like a quiz!!!!

1. Name the program that Southern Baptists use to fund missions and seminaries!
          That would be the Cooperative Program!

2. The church recognizes two ordinances - what are they?  Baptism and The Lord's Supper!

3. The church believes this book is inerrant and infallible. Name it!   Yep, the Bible!

4. There is an offering each year for International Missions.  Name it!  Lottie Moon!

5. There is an offering each year for North American Missions. Name it!   Annie Armstrong!

6. Mississippi has a state offering for state missions.  Name it! (extra credit if you know it)
                                                                                        Margaret Lackey

7. The Bible mentions more than once that two elements are to be found in us when we are saved!
     What are they?    Repentance and Faith

8. The majority of Southern Baptist Churches use this book as a guide for conducting church business!   Name it!     Robert's Rules of Order

9. True or False: So far as the Bible is concerned, Baptisms must be done by an ordained member of
     of the clergy!  FALSE!  No indication of that anywhere in scripture!  As a matter of fact, it is a little hard to make a strong biblical case for ordination of a clergy class!

10. True of False: The tithe started in the law of Moses!    FALSE - The tithe predates the law!

Have fun.  Answers to follow - maybe tomorrow!

Just Before You Write the Check!

Here are things you never want to hear just before you write the check:

1. From the Auto Mechanic:  Man, it took me and Petey 2 days to get the bolts loose on that thing!

2. From the Plumber: In all my years, I have never seen a clog 3 feet long!

3. From the Alterations Lady: It took three days to get the hem out of that thing.  I had to go to the Doctor and get something for pain in my fingers!

4. From the A/C guy:  I've got good news - and some pretty bad news!  It is fixed, but I had to ship the compressor in from Russia!

5. From the roof guy:  It ended up taking a few more squares than we thought!

6. From the checkout lady at the grocery store:  WOW!

7. From the car dealer:  Oh, you know, we almost forgot to add Dealer Prep and Destination charges!

8. From the checkout lady at the Doctors office: Insurance no longer covers that!

9. From the Bank: I'm sorry - We made a little bit of an error!

10. From the IRS agent - What do you have in your account today?

sMiLe!

Why not?  What? Why not - SMILE!!!!!!

Smile - your teeth need to breathe!

Smile - your face doesn't need to freezed in a non-smiling position!

Smile - God is great!

Smile - God loves you!

Smile - If you smile in the presence of people - they will likely smile also!

Smile - It beats frowning!

Smile - Frowning gives you worry lines and a headache!

Smile - Smiling has been proven to be good facial exercise!

Smile - just because!

Can I have an "AMEN?"

There are just some things that are so obvious that they a deserve a big "AMEN!"  Can I have an AMEN?

I'm no fashion expert, but more and more I observe people who obviously received VERY BAD fashion advice!
          (does someone really look at some of this stuff and say, "oh that it looks good!")

Clipping your fingernails in church is a distraction! (seriously)

Text messaging during the morning sermon is just plain rude!

Leaving your cell phone ringer on during worship demonstrates a total lack of technological know-how!

Swabbing your girlfriend / boyfriend's tonsils in Wal-Mart may seem wonderful to you - it looks pretty shabby to everyone else!

There's nothing that says, "I'm most likely to succeed " like a check-out person with a huge hickey on their neck!

Something is fishy when people are well enough to work Monday through Friday, play all day Saturday, and are mysteriously unable to attend church on Sunday due to a recurring "whatever!!!!"

If you dress like your teenager, you will look like a 40 year old teenager!  Not good!

The twenty items or less lane at Wal-Mart does not mean less than 20 carts! It means less than 20 items!

Perfectly healthy people parking in the handicapped spots somehow makes me want to crush their cars with a bulldozer!  Just sayin.....

I'm sorry - but I just believe that when my refrigerator, deep freezer, washing machine, or car quit working completely, that hauling it off is supposed to be past my front yard!

Well, can I get a big Amen?????  I feel better now!

 

 

 

 

What Was the Best Advice You Ever Received?

Throughout my life, I have been surrounded by people who gave mostly sound advice! Here are a few items:

1. Best Financial Advice - Spend less than you earn!   

2. Second Best Financial Advice - (for when you fail to the first)  Always run TO your creditors - not away from them.

3. Best Advice on Integrity - Always tell the truth - then you will not have to remember what you said!

4. Best Marital Advice - Always be willing to die for your spouse - that attitude will insure that you love, honor, and cherish her.

5. Best Parenting Advice - The best gift you can give to your children is an obvious and devoted love to their mother!

6. Best Spiritual Advice - Yield everything to Christ - and gain everything in Him!

7. Best Clarinet Advice - Don't play it in the rain! (someone needs to tell band directors)

8. Best Car Advice - The cheapest car you will own is generally the one you have now!

9. Best "Stuff" Advice - To not want something is just as good as owning it! (Adrian Rodgers)

10. Best Mechanical Advice - Lefty loosy - righty tighty! (except for some gas fittings) (you can figure this out)

My Inbox!

I've tried just about everything! Alas, I am defeated! I cannot win the war with my INBOX! Now, I hear that email is waning in popularity - but my INBOX seems to be as popular as ever.

One of the first things I tried is ORGANIZATION!  I created folders for emails - like KEEP, SHOPPING, IMPORTANT, VERY IMPORTANT, CRITICAL!  I titled some of them with names of people from whom I hear regularly - like my kids.  Then I named some of them by subject.  The result - I still have tons of emails that I never look at and my INBOX is still full.  And how did I end up subscribing to so many "daily updates" and devotions?

Then I tried the DELETE or SAVE immediately approach.  This worked well for a day or two - but then, you are away from the computer for a couple of days, or see the emails on your phone, and when you fire up the computer again - BAM - there are 74 emails loading! Somehow I just give up.

So, right now on my laptop, there are over 400 emails in my INBOX.  I can't stand the thought of taking the time to look through them to see if there are really some from three months ago that I need to keep!

Is there an INBOX Anonymous?  Is there hope for me?  My desktop at home has over 1000 emails in my INBOX. I am afraid to make a resolution about cleaning them out - it might take me until 2012 to get it done!  Any suggestions?  I'm looking for a fool-proof plan!

Isn't it Funny What People "KNOW?"

It is always funny to see what people "KNOW!"  Too many examples to list a long list but here are a few!

1. Packing hubcaps full of tin foil will mess up police radar!  I heard a guy tell my brother this one time as my brother was writing him a speeding ticket!  My brother's response - "You better put some more in there!"

2. Facebook will charge 3.99 a month starting in some month some time!  And you know this how????? By the way - I bet a lot of folks would pay it if they ever did it - which the will not!

3. "They" are going to start charging for email!

4. Jesus is coming back in (YOU FILL IN THE YEAR!)

5. If you don't pass this along to 10 of your friends you don't love - take your pick - Jesus, your mother, your father, your children, other people, cats, dogs.........you name the group!

6. If you jump up in an elevator just before it stops - you will crash to the floor and die!  So - if you believe it why do so many people  try it??????

7. There's a guy in India who desperately needs your help!  Probably is - but not the one who is emailing you!!

8. That if you do not click certain settings on FACEBOOK your information will be shown to the KGB in Russia! Silly - the KGB operates FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or is that the FBI???????

Just Stuff!

Well, here are a few sites on the internet that you might find useful from time to time!

1.  ZIPWHO  - This site gives you some basic information on the demographics in your zip code.

2.  The Big Picture - This site has stunning photographs of contemporary events.  There are occasional
                                 photos that are graphic (death etc.) and they will be blacked out with the option to
                                 proceed if you wish.  The photos are amazing.  You have to be careful scrolling through
                                 the comments - I usually skip these - because you find out some people have a "potty"
                                 keyboard as well as a "potty" mouth.

3. Word of the Day - Just what it says! Increase your vocabulary!

4. Astronomy Picture of the Day! - Just what it says! Enjoy fabulous photos from space. Many will come from the
                                  Hubble!

5. Deal News -          This site brings together some of the best "deals" on the internet. Keep scrolling down and
                                 you will find deals on stuff other than electronics.

6. Wunderground -   In my opinion, this is THE best weather site on the internet. Once you get to it - spend
                                 some time customizing it - then bookmark or put it on your home page.  You can spend
                                 a minimum amount  of money (5 or 10 bucks per year) to have the same info without any
                                 ads.

7. BibleGateway -     A great Bible site.

Enjoy!

The Secret to Healing!

Well, today is a monumental day. It has been 3 weeks and 4 days since my heart surgery, and today I will receive the long awaited, fairly proven, procedure that will help finalize healing!

The docs approve - the surgeon thinks it is a good idea - no objections from the cardiologist - the nutritionists concurs - and so - we are getting ready.

At some point in the afternoon - possibly around 2 pm - (scroll down for it)

GRANDBABY RILEY IS COMING TO SEE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!