Tommy Mitchell / The Rurban Church Blog

What Happens When it Turns Cool in South Mississippi?

This morning is a crisp, truly cool morning in South Mississippi.  Depending on which weather site you view, it is somewhere between 39 and 43 degrees.  Some of the folk down here would consider that to be outright cold!  Well, things are a bit different for South Mississippians when we have this first cool / cold spell!

What happens when it turns cool in South Mississippi?

1. We can breath the air - instead of seeing the air!

2. The love bugs are now officially gone!

3.  The ice in our Iced tea glass only melts because the tea is hot - not because the air is hot!

4. You start thinking about roasting marshmellows over the fire logs!

5. You bring out your knee length shorts to replace your shorter shorts!

6. We start thinking about wearing something other than or in addition to a "T" shirt!

7. We start blaming the low tires on the cold instead of the 5 plugs keeping it somewhat inflated!

8. We realize that the sky really can be blue instead of a hot haze!

9.  Our power bill drops 80%!

10. We put light covers back on the bed!

 

The Chirp!

At 6:10 this morning it started! Praise the Lord it didn't start before then!  And it is loud!  The CHIRP!  The battery in one of our smoke detectors, the one in the kitchen, is low and it is letting me know with an insistent CHIRP!  CHIRP!

How many 9 volt batteries do you keep in your house? CHIRP At this time we have NONE!  I don't know why it started at 6:10 am but I am so thankful it did not start at 11:00 pm last night or we would have had no sleep.  CHIRP All my detectors are wired together.  I am not sure what taking one battery out will do. Maybe nothing.  Maybe they all go off!  I don't really CHIRP want to know until I have new batteries on hand at lunch to put in them.  

CHIRP!  I am writing chirp everytime CHIRP it does it.  It is picking up in frequency!  There is CHIRP a sermon illustration in this somewhere.  Probably along the lines that this is like the warning you here in your head when you are about to do something wrong and you keep telling yourself not to! CHIRP

Heed the warning!  I've got to go find a battery before I go CHIRP crazy!

Keeping Our Marriage Fresh and Fun!

Andrea and I are getting ready for 30 days of adventure!  Here is what we are doing!

Andrea gets 15 pink cards - I got 15 yellow cards (couldn't find any blue ones)!

Each one of us writes down something on each card that we want the other to do on that day!

We will alternate drawing out a pink card (ladies first) on the first day - yellow card day two - pink card day three..... and so on!

So, no, I did not write SEX on my 15 cards!  Just to get that topic out of the way - we are each allowed to write down SEX and whatever we desire about that on 4 cards each.  That means that on 22 out of 30 days we will be doing other stuff for each other! 

Anyway, it took an extra half-hour at lunch, but I have my 15 cards done.  I'm hoping she will do her cards tonight!  I have to clear this with Andrea, but I am hoping we will draw out the card  the night before for the following day - so we will know how to plan for the next day! 

I think it is going to a great 30 days in the Mitchell marriage!  Why not give it a try yourselves? I'm excited!

A Few Things Country Folks Just Know!

Country folks just know some stuff that other folks have to learn the hard way!

1. Don't follow a cattle truck or trailer too closely!  (if you have to ask why - then you really need to take my advice seriously!)

2. Don't kick a sleeping dog!

3. In the country, a "Beware of the Dog" sign means - BEWARE OF THE DOG!!!!!

4. You don't mess with somebody's 4-wheeler!

5. It is better to be tried by 12 than carried out by 6!  (this has a lot of applications!)

6. Country drivers are in training for NASCAR!

7. It really isn't a big deal to check your oil!

Baptist Church Information Quiz! UPDATED WITH ANSWERS

Here are a few standard questions related to church!   Well, people apparently don't like a quiz!!!!

1. Name the program that Southern Baptists use to fund missions and seminaries!
          That would be the Cooperative Program!

2. The church recognizes two ordinances - what are they?  Baptism and The Lord's Supper!

3. The church believes this book is inerrant and infallible. Name it!   Yep, the Bible!

4. There is an offering each year for International Missions.  Name it!  Lottie Moon!

5. There is an offering each year for North American Missions. Name it!   Annie Armstrong!

6. Mississippi has a state offering for state missions.  Name it! (extra credit if you know it)
                                                                                        Margaret Lackey

7. The Bible mentions more than once that two elements are to be found in us when we are saved!
     What are they?    Repentance and Faith

8. The majority of Southern Baptist Churches use this book as a guide for conducting church business!   Name it!     Robert's Rules of Order

9. True or False: So far as the Bible is concerned, Baptisms must be done by an ordained member of
     of the clergy!  FALSE!  No indication of that anywhere in scripture!  As a matter of fact, it is a little hard to make a strong biblical case for ordination of a clergy class!

10. True of False: The tithe started in the law of Moses!    FALSE - The tithe predates the law!

Have fun.  Answers to follow - maybe tomorrow!

Just Before You Write the Check!

Here are things you never want to hear just before you write the check:

1. From the Auto Mechanic:  Man, it took me and Petey 2 days to get the bolts loose on that thing!

2. From the Plumber: In all my years, I have never seen a clog 3 feet long!

3. From the Alterations Lady: It took three days to get the hem out of that thing.  I had to go to the Doctor and get something for pain in my fingers!

4. From the A/C guy:  I've got good news - and some pretty bad news!  It is fixed, but I had to ship the compressor in from Russia!

5. From the roof guy:  It ended up taking a few more squares than we thought!

6. From the checkout lady at the grocery store:  WOW!

7. From the car dealer:  Oh, you know, we almost forgot to add Dealer Prep and Destination charges!

8. From the checkout lady at the Doctors office: Insurance no longer covers that!

9. From the Bank: I'm sorry - We made a little bit of an error!

10. From the IRS agent - What do you have in your account today?

sMiLe!

Why not?  What? Why not - SMILE!!!!!!

Smile - your teeth need to breathe!

Smile - your face doesn't need to freezed in a non-smiling position!

Smile - God is great!

Smile - God loves you!

Smile - If you smile in the presence of people - they will likely smile also!

Smile - It beats frowning!

Smile - Frowning gives you worry lines and a headache!

Smile - Smiling has been proven to be good facial exercise!

Smile - just because!

Can I have an "AMEN?"

There are just some things that are so obvious that they a deserve a big "AMEN!"  Can I have an AMEN?

I'm no fashion expert, but more and more I observe people who obviously received VERY BAD fashion advice!
          (does someone really look at some of this stuff and say, "oh that it looks good!")

Clipping your fingernails in church is a distraction! (seriously)

Text messaging during the morning sermon is just plain rude!

Leaving your cell phone ringer on during worship demonstrates a total lack of technological know-how!

Swabbing your girlfriend / boyfriend's tonsils in Wal-Mart may seem wonderful to you - it looks pretty shabby to everyone else!

There's nothing that says, "I'm most likely to succeed " like a check-out person with a huge hickey on their neck!

Something is fishy when people are well enough to work Monday through Friday, play all day Saturday, and are mysteriously unable to attend church on Sunday due to a recurring "whatever!!!!"

If you dress like your teenager, you will look like a 40 year old teenager!  Not good!

The twenty items or less lane at Wal-Mart does not mean less than 20 carts! It means less than 20 items!

Perfectly healthy people parking in the handicapped spots somehow makes me want to crush their cars with a bulldozer!  Just sayin.....

I'm sorry - but I just believe that when my refrigerator, deep freezer, washing machine, or car quit working completely, that hauling it off is supposed to be past my front yard!

Well, can I get a big Amen?????  I feel better now!

 

 

 

 

What Was the Best Advice You Ever Received?

Throughout my life, I have been surrounded by people who gave mostly sound advice! Here are a few items:

1. Best Financial Advice - Spend less than you earn!   

2. Second Best Financial Advice - (for when you fail to the first)  Always run TO your creditors - not away from them.

3. Best Advice on Integrity - Always tell the truth - then you will not have to remember what you said!

4. Best Marital Advice - Always be willing to die for your spouse - that attitude will insure that you love, honor, and cherish her.

5. Best Parenting Advice - The best gift you can give to your children is an obvious and devoted love to their mother!

6. Best Spiritual Advice - Yield everything to Christ - and gain everything in Him!

7. Best Clarinet Advice - Don't play it in the rain! (someone needs to tell band directors)

8. Best Car Advice - The cheapest car you will own is generally the one you have now!

9. Best "Stuff" Advice - To not want something is just as good as owning it! (Adrian Rodgers)

10. Best Mechanical Advice - Lefty loosy - righty tighty! (except for some gas fittings) (you can figure this out)

My Inbox!

I've tried just about everything! Alas, I am defeated! I cannot win the war with my INBOX! Now, I hear that email is waning in popularity - but my INBOX seems to be as popular as ever.

One of the first things I tried is ORGANIZATION!  I created folders for emails - like KEEP, SHOPPING, IMPORTANT, VERY IMPORTANT, CRITICAL!  I titled some of them with names of people from whom I hear regularly - like my kids.  Then I named some of them by subject.  The result - I still have tons of emails that I never look at and my INBOX is still full.  And how did I end up subscribing to so many "daily updates" and devotions?

Then I tried the DELETE or SAVE immediately approach.  This worked well for a day or two - but then, you are away from the computer for a couple of days, or see the emails on your phone, and when you fire up the computer again - BAM - there are 74 emails loading! Somehow I just give up.

So, right now on my laptop, there are over 400 emails in my INBOX.  I can't stand the thought of taking the time to look through them to see if there are really some from three months ago that I need to keep!

Is there an INBOX Anonymous?  Is there hope for me?  My desktop at home has over 1000 emails in my INBOX. I am afraid to make a resolution about cleaning them out - it might take me until 2012 to get it done!  Any suggestions?  I'm looking for a fool-proof plan!